Let me back up and apologize for not updating on a more regular basis, I have been wrapped up in life and the things it throws at you. I will work hard to get back on track with an update a week or maybe even more.
I have started to notice that I am doing things out of habit instead of out of enjoyment. I have started smoking more cigars as I drive, more out of something to do that out of the enjoyment of the cigar. So I need to slow down and go back to why I love smoking a cigar - the relaxation of it; the flavor and the whole lifestyle involved.
I have also been struggling with the controlling of my thoughts and them being focused on what I don't have instead of what I want. Sounds simple, but it doesn't seem that it is. I have read "The Secret" and understand it - it makes sense that things work that way. It is much like prayer and having faith in God or a higher power and that if you focus on what you want, you are more likely to get it - than if you focus on the bad or what you don't have you will continue to get or not get that...make sense?!?
However my question is HOW DOES ONE DO THAT?? Sometimes the "not good thoughts" are so large and overwhelming, it is tough to turn them off to even sleep...they can be all encompassing...so as I continue to work on this and keep moving forward with my eyes open for a solution or solutions to the varied issues, I will let you know how it goes. I have started walking to get a little more exercise as the seasons start to change in California...and I think I am even going to walk/run/crawl in a 5K in a couple of months.
I have been asked rather regularly lately what I do for fun, and the answer has to be thought about, which means, I don't have enough fun, so I am working on that also, I have busted out the digital camera and with the help of a good friend, went down and took pictures in a vineyard near Lodi.
I agreed to help another good friend be a character at an event - now if you know me, I can be a character most of the time and you wonder how this is any different than anything else I do - but this was a character a real character...oh just see the picture. It was absolutely a BLAST!! and most of the people who knew me at the event could not believe it was me. The things we do to step out of the box.Well that's all I have for you for now, no big AH-HA moments, a lot of just grinding it out and honestly not having it work really well...but quitting isn't an option and this moment in life will too pass (although it seems much longer than a moment) - the wild part about it is that in a few days all things can look and be different, as I have found out this week. Last Sunday, I would never have guessed I would have been through the struggles I have this week nor would I have guessed that I would be as blessed by the things and people as I have this week.
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